Mozza (10) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

T0324 | Sorry, I didn't mean to misrepresent your take on flirting. I understand that you wouldn't take it as far as dating. I was referring more to my own perspective on it. It's interesting that the guy got interested really fast and took offense when your reconciled. My guess is that he's a Nice Guy who doesn't see many opportunities with women like you!

Complex | Thanks for your support. It seem like everyone is in agreement that it is a highly personal decision.
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I had a passing thought while packing my groceries at the store: even this packing can be a subject of mild tension in a couple, in the rush of getting things done. It made me realize that our WAS have to deal with a new R while we don't. Yes yes, it must be great at times, especially in the beginning, but very early they'll have small irritants like these and even if they try to ignore them, it'll be at the back of their mind until it comes to to front and is voiced. It might be uncomfortable, knowing that you just left a "terrible" R to get into this "perfect" one and then see these issues creep up and grow, one by one. I guess my point is that we shouldn't overlook the advantages of not being in an R!
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I was reflecting on my DB'ing and what I'm not doing so well. I'm not sure I'm doing enough to turn into a man only a fool would leave. Let's recap.

Appearance: I take better care of my body and stepped up my grooming (cream and gel galore!). I do the 7-minute work out very regularly and my body has improved as a result. I'm toner than I was (and leaner, but my BMI is already at 20 so...). I bought some more clothes, remaining stylish (humble brag: a few years ago, I won the prize for "best dressed man" in my department!) and improving a little, as with any new clothes. My style hasn't changed though. Oh, I have a new haircut too, called "neat neglect" by my hairdresser. It involves gel, which is new for me. I've pulled the cologne from the back of the bottom drawer too. I've had more compliments on my appearance since S, so maybe it shows. I guess I'm doing fine on this front, even though I would have liked some kind of makeover like you see on TV.

Self-awareness: This is a biggie. I lump in there my work with the IC and my readings such as NMMNG and DR. I was imagining a conversation with WW where she'd ask me to summarize what I've learnt and I couldn't come up with it. It's just spread over my entire personality. It seems like I won't know if I truly changed until I am in a new R when the new me is put to the test. What I can say is that I've started asking myself important questions: Who am I and what do I really want? How do I feel and why do I react a certain way? According to my readings and my IC, this is all there is to it: I'll ask these questions for the rest of my life and will never have definitive answers. Many people, even those who have a crisis like ours, never get there.

GAL: This covers everything I'm supposed to keep myself busy and grow (25yearsmlc and Vanilla are champions at this). This is probably my weakest point. I've learn to cook a few more things, but I can't think of anything else. I've not started a language course, joined a volunteer group or a music band, I've not traveled to new places (it's coming for Easter) nor have I made new friends (I already had plenty though, never been a loner). Sure, I went to a museum, discovered a few more restaurants and bars, but that doesn't sound like terrific assets. I just don't have the will or energy to commit to anything. Gotta work on this.

Any category I overlooked?
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Work report | I guess I should start a section on this topic because it is where I struggle the most. Today, I probably put 90 minutes to work (I freelance) and that includes some 60 minutes to solve a computer problem. This problem threw me off track this morning and sent me around the house and in my bed for some six hour instead of working. Ouch. It must be a struggle to go through a 9 to 5 job right after BD but I envy the discipline it brings. I was passed for a contract today that would have kept me busy for the next month and a half but I'm not too concerned because it was not really what I do. Still, it would have been a good income.

PMA Report | If I make it through the shower and all the way to my bed tonight, it will be three days in a row without crying, which is astonishing knowing that I had a total of two such days in the previous six months. In recent weeks, the crying was more random and less heartfelt though. My past experience tells me that such highs are usually follows by lows, but also that the overall trend is positive.