Confused 3

[Joe46]

Okay.

I wanted my wife to have a job and make some money, but always complained about her working all the time.

I would get angry when she did not get things taken care of during the day( phone calls to mortgage company, health insurance, etc) and the first thing out of my mouth when I walked in was what she found out or did she call. When she forgot, I told her she needed to start writing things down and get it done.

When we got in major fights, I would yell and tell her if she didn't like it she can get the heck out! This I did change. But I did this alot in our early years together.

I never said anything positive to her. I complained alot that she wasn't doing enough.

If I didn't get sex when I wanted it, I complained.

When she wanted to sleep next to me, I said I needed my space. I wish like crazy I could take that one back.

When I walked in the door, I should have hugged her and asked about her day and really listened with eye contact.

I should have shared my things with her. Truck, remote to the TV, tools, everything.

When we had problems with the kids I should not have blamed her. Especially my stepkids. I chose to be their father. I knew what I was getting into. Luckily I think I did more good for the kids than bad. But I have seen my oldest stepson act similar to my old ways.

I should have told her I loved her more often and showed it. More hugs, holding her hand in public, cuddling without expecting sex.

I never insulted her appearance, but I did not tell her how beautiful she was.

I needed to be more supportive in everything she did. I needed to listen more instead of trying to fix everything. I needed to let her be herself, not who I thought she should be. Or act the way I thought she should act.