Hey uR. I never ask about that. They come to me- but not all the time. When they get really frustrated. When xh starts acting like a real teenager and my kids don't know what to do. Or I overhear them talking about it.
Today, d14 called me crying, which she seldom does. I could hear she was crushed. I just said, "I'm sorry you have to start your day like that." And I started coming up with suggestions of a different ride to school. That's when xh pulled in. When I got home, I just asked her if every thing was ok, and she just told me what happened. That was it.
With s18, I just wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault. My focus was more on s dealing with his emotions. And time, I said give it time. I told him not to let it upset him and that it will work out. Pretty much that's it. I just want my kids to be able to cope with it without it stressing them out. I have seen them making progress too and getting used to our new family. These incidents stir things up. Get frustrating.
And I am staying out of it. Totally. Trust me. I wanted so badly this morning to give xh a piece of my mind for what he did. But, I didn't. When I found out about what he was texting, I wanted to say something, but I didn't. It is not my r to work out. I am staying out of it. I will do what I can to help my kids through this the best I can with dignity, integrity, strength, and compassion. That's the best I can strive for.
Oh, and I'm not really angry anymore. It was a passing moment. A reminder that I still have a long way to go, but I'm working on it.
