M, Im so sorry your xh is choosing to do this to your children. I know it is so hard to get your mind around.
I think that is the worst part in all of this, that our children are hurt so deeply.
Your xh is very broken, M. That is easy to see. That's not an excuse because he still has to own his actions. But it is an explanation of sorts.
I know you know that your kids will be ok. After all, they have you for their mother.
Be sure not to inadvertently react negatively when stuff happens with them and him. I dont mean to pretend it isnt hurtful or to not be there for them when it happens. Not at all. I just mean that sometimes we dont realize by our reactions or words that we are sending the wrong signal to them. That could make them feel like victims and you dont want them to feel that way.
It succks. No way around it. Show them that while this hurts, they will be ok. They are old enough to forge their own relationship with him and for now, they may not want to. Dont get in the way of any of that.
My xh and son have slowly figured their way through this. It doesnt help that his dad is 6 hours away, but, nothing I can do about that.
They dont have the relationship they used to have, nor the one they should have, but, they stay in contact and get together when they can. It took a long time to get to this place between them, though.
Does your daughter come to you and share what has happened with her dad or are you asking? When she does, how do you react?
I get your anger, M, completely. Glad you can get it out here. Just dont live there, right?
