Have you guys not agreed to a full transparency plan??
Not to the degree I am comfortable with. Keep revising because new methods come into mind, but they can always find ways to get around everything...
Biggest problem is with AA. I am supposed to be supportive of her getting better and encouraging her to go to meetings and be in lots of contact with her sponsor. Who is to say she is actually doing this or not? Who is to say OM decides to show up to her new meetings? Who is to say she is not continuing to go to her original meeting times when I am not home? Not hard to send messages through other AA friends. They all seem to know everyone else.
It is not necessarily the electronic contacting at this point. It is when I am not home and she is going to the things that she needs to go to (mandated for nothing to occur to her professional license), or claims she is going to (meet with sponsor, different meetings with other people).
She did mention that she wanted to go back to her original meeting time to "strictly be with the girls" there because she misses them. I voiced my disapproval (though I do believe her to a degree there - I am calling it a half truth). "There is an understanding" (between her and OM), uh huh, that is believable.
