Trying to Follow DB & DR

[MrBond]

"In the swinging lifestyle there is a code of ethics that most people follow, think of it as "honor amongst thieves" if you will. "

I don't think you realize how bad of an analogy that is. I will preface this by saying that we've had many people who come on here from a swinging lifestyle and a poly lifestyle that we've helped. It wasn't until they actually sat back and realized how damaging it was to introduce others into an intimacy that is usually tied in to a two person relationship.

You keep emphasizing "trust" which has no bearing here. I know that "rules" and boundaries in place for that lifestyle, and all of those rules are tied in to logic and understanding. You are dealing with emotions. Not trust. Emotions are tied in with intimacy. Especially for women.

You can argue all you want about it, but if you weren't M and just dating, it would be called playing the field. But now you want her to honor your "M" which wasn't done before. And you go to church. Does/Did she attend with you?

Yes I know all of the LL and the His Needs/Her Needs, and practically every M practice and term out there. Been doing this for awhile.

"because I felt it took a large percentage of our income. "

This plus the video game playing, etc. comes down to one thing. Control. You controlled everything and when she found out that with the OC, she was treated as an individual and not a housemate.

"The R with the OC has allowed her/us to get out of that cycle a bit by allowing us to ignore the duties around the house during the weekend."

You do understand that there were probably many healthier ways to get out of that cycle by doing different things with each other rather than getting bored with your sex life and having intimacy with others.

Aside from the games, what else did you two have in common?