I agree it's still too much about her. And I like how you put that into perspective about learning a lot simply about how to be a good husband, man and person.
The thing is even then W isn't ever coming back. The only way to her heart is to accept her who she is and to reach a deeper level of understanding and connection. But these things need to be worked on too, that's why I am still partially focused on her, to figure out if this is truly possible between us. I'm really trying all these things but they get blocked. Maybe my mistake lies in the fact that right now is NOT the time to "try". If I'm honest to myself: I'm tactical because I want her to at least subconciously feel that I truly love her and that I'm trying to get where she wants to be in a R. But my efforts make her more mad than anything else bc she has made up her mind.
This is where I am stuck. Plainly focusing on myself VS tactical behaviour trying to influence W's thinking. I feel strong enough to let her completely go. Or maybe I should at least shift my focus way to my own side as a start. It feels counterintuitive to emotionally completely ditch her, but that's what DB is a lot. I just really don't know how to balance these things out so that they are beneficial for me and my M...but maybe my fault lies in that sentence alone, because there is no M anymore and me is all I have right now.
