Don't strain at a nat and swallow a camel. There are more serious issues here, other than moving her things out of your house before the new owners take over. Whenever your lines get blurred, step back and look at your true motives.

This is not some die-hard DB rule. The advice usually given, is not to assist the WW in her initial move out from the marital home. The point is not to physically help breaking apart the home. The H should not be her available buddy to help whenever she needs a handyman. The WW needs introduced to the new aspect in the relationship.

However, your stitch has moved past this initial move out. I see no value in not getting her things out of there so that you can finally release the house and move forward. In comparison to the other problems, this is only a little dot.

There seems to be a gap from the last post. She never responded to you about the kids? How did they get home? Has she told you OM will be staying with her?

If that is the case, what could possibly merit a long, serious discussion? There have already been long, serious conversations......to no avail. OM is back and you move on without her. Once you get her things out of the sold house, she's on her own. No more family time spent at your place.

Does OM supply her drugs? You really need to do all that is within your legal power to protect your children from him.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!