Confused & mix messages part 2

[Heart14]

Detachment is a process. It takes awhile to get there. Be gentle with yourself and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This situation is gonna cost me a fortune, I just find comfort in shopping. I guess its investing in me. He frequently tells me he finds me attractive but that's not enough to stay with me.

It doesn't have to cost you a fortune. It's important that you do things that make you feel good about yourself. That doesn't all have to be around your appearance or even cost a lot of money though. Wear the sexy outfit because it makes you feel good, not because H will notice. He probably will and that's great, but it cannot be your only reason for doing it. That is not sustainable change.

GAL can be anything you want it to be. You can take a bubble bath, read a book, go on a walk with a friend, or find a meetup group that shares your interests. Anything that takes your mind of the situation and helps you to have fun. Live your life for you and your son.

Again, trying not to analyse things as his mood is erratic.. One minute he is cheery- the next moody and distant with me.

This is typical script behavior. He will be all over the place. That has nothing to do with you. That is all about him and his issues. He has to want to deal with those on his own. I know it is hard. Don't let his actions dictate your self worth.

I think baby is picking up on the negativity and is being difficult, not sleeping etc. he on the other hand thinks it is perfectly fine to be out all the time and leave me to it. I feel like a single parent and I'm finding it difficult.

You don't really know that he thinks it's acceptable. Try not to mind read. I used to get so mad that my H wasn't putting in the time with our son. Eventually I came to the realization that I couldn't change that. It would be sad for him if he chose not to be a strong figure in our child's life. That was on him though.

Live a life you are proud of. That's all you can do. You can't change his actions. He has to do that on his own. In time he might. It's not guaranteed. This is a marathon, not a sprint. It's going to take a lot of time and patience probably. You can do it! Just take it one day at a time.