Yes, I do believe that God allows us the right of self-defense. (Even the Pope recently, who is basically pacifist, talked about the legitimate cause of doing what was necessary to wipe out ISIS).
God reads our hearts. If what we do legally, we do to protect ourselves because we have been attacked, and we do it to protect our families' financial and emotional security, then . . . yes, I think God would tell me that's "the right thing to do."
To pick a specific item for example, I think it's reasonable to inform a wayward spouse that you are going to be removing them from your insurance policy, but giving them, say, 90 days in which to get their own (longer time frame because this is a pretty major item). A cellphone that's being used to conduct their affair?? . . . not so much -- maybe 24 hours' notice.
I could look up the biblical justification for all of the above (one that comes immediately to mind is "There is wisdom in many counselors," Proverbs 24:6), but I do think it's pretty mainstream Christian thought.
