I appreciate that everyone is trying to give me a different perspective, I really do. I'm just in a funk about this, this is not changing a week's vacation plan, this is removing something that's been a significant part of my life.
Unfortunately, this is what happens when unraveling the tentacles of marriage and family. It's the collateral damage that hurts the most. I haven't been camping since our separation. My XH got the motor home in the D (because he is a far better a mechanic than I am, even in my dreams) and I couldn't afford the maintenance. So when he pulls up with D18 in his newer home away from home, I'm sometimes surprised to see all our old stuff that we used as a family. (I know, that makes no sense.) I love camping and miss it. But apparently, I don't miss it enough to make it happen. And it surprises me that it gets to me now and then.
I also don't get invited to his family functions. I was very close with my former SIL (we still keep in touch, BTW) and a little more than unhappy that I wasn't sent an invitation to his nephew's college graduation. But I get it. He's family, and my kids are family. I'm not. But I've got a great family too. That's the part that makes me happy.
Mourn the loss and move forward. You're going to have to replace what was with what will be. Start a new vacation, all rpp style.
BTW, I have a group of friends from college that I've kept in touch with. One of them is also named Betsy, and she was my junior roomie. She's my traveling pal to D21's volleyball matches. Her son goes to college in NY and she will sometimes travel to her matches with her son. We've done our thing for 3 years now, and when the other 2 showed up at my brother's funeral, we all made a pinky promise to do one last volleyball trip this fall and then convert it to an annual trip with each other - each of us taking a turn at calling the shots on where. We're all really excited about it! The icing on the cake? The trip we decided on in October... one of the teams playing is our alma mater.
So... if you got to choose a new vacation plan, what would it be? And how can you make that happen?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
