I told her that I would not live this lie and cover for her and torture myself while she does whatever she wants for 3 years so she can hide the truth from everyone.
. . . I said the only person I feel truly bad for is OMW and I feel that is another burden that I have (I never told her - she doesn't know).
That poor woman. Why should she be the only one of the four affected, to NOT know the truth about what's going on, so she can make her own decisions accordingly?