All I Wanna Do Is..Get A Little Closer #12

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks, Wonka, Cali, and GG. Wonka, I don't *really* think that...it's just an overall feeling I get when I'm having a difficult day. Will anyone want me again? Am I good enough? Theoretically, I know I am and sometimes I struggle with that feeling of "what's wrong with me?" I have felt a bit more even keel the last few weeks and I appreciate that. Hope I didn't just hex myself:)

Cali-Thanks for your kind words:) Dudes love the bodycon dresses. When you wear them, you have to own the fact that your esophagus is wrapped around your larynx because those things suck you in like a Dyson.

GG-It is a nice feeling-I agree. I just haven't felt like I have *needed* it as much lately. I suppose that's a good thing. I'm not sure.

X Mr. GB continues to be friendly-suggesting I watch certain shows (I don't really have time but the suggestions are nice enough ), sending dog pics, and funny stories. Sometimes I respond. Sometimes I don't. Right now, in the words of that one hit wonder, Gotya, he just seems like somebody that I used to know. I know that will change in time.

I was GALing with a bottle of Apothic with my bf Sat night. She knows x Mr. GB and she posed a question. She said, "What if he came to you one day and said he was sorry. Would you consider making it work?"

Isn't that what every LBS wants? The WAS to come and ask for forgiveness and say they made a mistake?I think the likelihood is greater that a real life polar bear is out in my yard than that, but I told her I would play along. I said I would say I appreciate the apology but he must have fired me for a reason. I always go back to the fact that the entire time I was with x Mr. GB that I always wondered what would happen if I got sick. I always *knew" he wouldn't be able to take care of me. Not that he wouldn't want to-simply he doesn't have the capacity. And that's okay. He's not a bad person-not by a long shot. Yes, he hurt me, his parents, and his kids. However, it's his way of dealing with life and it's not my place to pass judgment on him. I'll leave that to bigger powers.

Otherwise..not too much happening here. I continue to read along and chime in when I feel the need. Some posts break my heart. I feel especially sad for those who think their S will "snap out of it." Why? I did too. It's also difficult to read about the people holding on with a death grip. Ugh. I understand their pain, but they truly need to let it go.

Disney in 2 weeks, peeps. Hang in there. It will get better. Wonka, I have a story to post just for you in the near future...Just not yet.

Sending everyone positive vibes!