Claire learning to accept

[gan]

Hiya Claire. Mozza, offered some great insights. I've been revisiting some of the books by David Schnarch lately. They were the first ones that really gave me a framework for thinking about how to work on me. I think you might find them useful. In sum, he proposes 4 core areas (paraphrasing) that align pretty well with DBing:
1. Learn to hold on to yourself - know what you stand for (boundaries)
2. Learn to soothe your own anxieties - validate yourself! (GAL)
3. Learn to respond mindfully and not reactively (listen, validate, empathise)
4. Confront your issues - where are you stuck? what is your role in that? When you feel stuck and are inclined to blame others it probably means you are not confronting yourself
He argues that these are the skills we need for effective, intimate relationships but I find this framework just as useful for dealing with day to day issues sans R.