Alpha - rollercoasting #3

[alpha99]

Thanks for the comments all.

Yes, I guess I've framed it wrong. It's not a family event, it's her allowing limited access to kids. We are going out partly to discuss future arrangements though. I will be aiming to get that sort of parenting plan in place.

No reason I can't be alone with kids. None at all. She is using the fact I took two extra sleeping pills a few months ago and made out I was going to end it all. I was desperate and upset but I knew the tablets were well within a safe dosage because I'd checked. That was more a stupid, last ditch attempt to win her back. Since then I've had kids several times on my own. When S6 was in hospital last week and W for some reason was being awkward in allowing me access to him or speaking to a doctor about him, I got upset and said I might as well be dead, said I was going to do it that day. Again, not a serious thing, just exasperation at not being allowed to see my ill son properly.

I'm sure she knows that. Like has been said, she is using the power card. I've been desperate to avoid the legal route. Maybe that fear has expressed itself to her. We are reaching the point though where if arrangements don't work out this week then that is going to be an option.


Complex, I meant 'show off' in the sense if subtly display. I'm not a flash, show off kind of person. I'm usually very self deprecating and humble. I meant things like looking my best, being happy, using validation and other skills I'm picking up.

Actually, though I'm desperate to see the kids, do you think I should reply saying something like 'actually, I've been thinking. As much as I want to see the children, to do so in a 'supervised' manner is unfeasible for me. I think a better option is agreeing something along the lines of the parenting arrangements I emailed to you the other day. Please have another look at it, feel free to make suggestions to change parts, and we can go from there.

Edit: As I've alluded to in recent posts, although this is a case of her exerting her power, I wonder if it is done to keep me on the hook, to see if I'm still option B. It seems mentioning that I wouldnt want her to be in a relationship with me if that made her unhappy really surprised her and later in the day I got a call back. She complained I haven't been in touch and then arranges two meet ups this week. She may be thinking solely if the kids, or may possibly be using them as a way to maintain contact with me. Who knows.