Yowza I see what I did there. It's not that care what she thinks persay as much as me making sure I'm doing the right things and not letting myself get carried away. thanks starsky.
I actually wanted to caveat on my comment. I can't believe how much impact GAL has on your outlook from a day to day basis. I have really honestly not felt this good in a long time. Even when I'm not feeling great I feel better than any time in the past 5 months. With GAL I believe it shows you that no matter what, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter the outcome. It's amazing!
I actually wanted to caveat on my comment. I can't believe how much impact GAL has on your outlook from a day to day basis. I have really honestly not felt this good in a long time. Even when I'm not feeling great I feel better than any time in the past 5 months. With GAL I believe it shows you that no matter what, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter the outcome. It's amazing!
I found it was the distraction, for those minutes/hours one GAL's you are not stressing about your sitch, then you sleep better .. next day more energy for more GAL ... for me currently .. even during the downtime I spend that thinking about the GAL activities I have created and rarely think about W. That helps boost confidence and like you said .. you know regardless you are going to be ok.
I completely agree, it also helps my interactions with W as well. I have been more upbeat and happy since really digging into my GAL list, and it's obvious she notices because her attitude towards me has changed as well, more cordial by far. Baby steps I say, baby steps on towards my happiness. This weekend putting my 3 day pack on my bike and I'm gnna get lost in the mountains here for a few days going to really love the alone time and peace and quiet.
Me 32 (German) Wife 28 T 3yrs M 2yrs Moved to US for W No kids BD 6/2014 In house separation Confirmed EA 1/2015 (ongoing since BD) OM not ready Real D talk started 1/27/15
Hello everyone Just checking on, since I've been AWOL for almost a week. My camping trip was great, wonderful pictures and just a nice relaxing time. Now to the Nuts and Bolts of this entire week so far. Monday was kind of a revelation for me. Before my meeting with my Therapist i thought that i had passed my anger phase and i was in acceptance. He stated that he did not believe that i had moved into the acceptance stage, he felt i was suppressing all my anger and he wanted me to dig inside and talk about things that bothered me or came to my mind. I thought i had been angry and moved passed it but, a common trend has continued to happen since DB. Every person that i talk to asks how i can't be furious or livid. It has become obvious that in my mind i thought i was showing my anger but to everyone else i wasn't. I was actually suppressing it. Now though i cannot seem to stop being angry, I feel myself sliding more and more into the anger resentment realm. Me actually acknowledging that i had suppressed my anger has opened Pandora's box and i don't know it that is good or not! are these normal feelings. I know i still love my W but i also feel like i hate her for everything that she has done to ME and US! And to boot i just got notified that my Next duty assignment has been dropped and I am staying here. right were my W and OM are. Just a wild week. thanks for listening
Glad to hear you had a good week. You sound more relaxed actually, even tho you are saying you are angry. The anger is natural. How many times already did I go from love, to anger and back and forth. Almost on a weekly basis. And it's a good point to dig a little if you suppress it. It's sometimes better to let it out but we are in a tough situation. We cannot scream out to anyone if we hope for reconciliation. The high road is a painful road, but in the end well worth it, so just be angry, go box something, a pillow whatsoever. You know the anger is going to pass..just a matter of time.
Me 32 (German) Wife 28 T 3yrs M 2yrs Moved to US for W No kids BD 6/2014 In house separation Confirmed EA 1/2015 (ongoing since BD) OM not ready Real D talk started 1/27/15
Thanks complex, I've been keeping up with your sitch and I feel like we are going through the same thing. except W and I are not living together. And she is not talking about D anymore, since me dropping the NC on OM. On Friday she came by while I was getting ready to hit the gym, I had some good rock music pumping to get me in the mood. She seemed sad. She sat on the couch and snuggled with the dogs we didn't talk too much but I saw her take off her glasses and wipe tears from her eyes. I didn't say anything. I did however mention that we needed to meet this coming week to decide how to split everything when I move to my next assignment. I kept myself upbeat and smiling the whole time. And I said see you later, and left for the gym.
So we shall see how this is going to go. Strange enough she is not living with OM from what I have heard. I really don't care but it's weird she left me, for him too not even move in together. Is this normal? I figure it is to try and keep up the pretense of a fling, to keep a spark I'm not too sure, I really don't put too much thought into it either just thought I would ask.
The spark between them may have fizzled since the high from having a secret, daring romance has been extinguished. Now it's just a run of the mill deal, where's the excitement in that? And the time apart from the NC order certainly tamed the beast too. After my wife ended all communications with her EA partner and those who encouraged it she realized how foolish she had been. She wants nothing to do with any of them ever again. But it took time to get away and look back with an open mind without all the other voices telling her it was OK to have an A or to get a D.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
