So cried a lot of the last 72 hours. A release of sorts. A relief as well. Phone call with H was so full of emotion but not sure if it honest emotion or just a sense of nostalgia. The thing is I just can't discern the truth anymore. In the end I offered an olive branch if you will. We decided on a code word - a starting place if the day ever comes when H wants to really do the work to attempt a R. Not sure if I will ever hear that code word and if the day ever arrives I am not sure what kind of response I will be capable of giving.
I reminded H that a separation is not a divorce and that the sacrament of marriage is unbreakable though I love him enough to let him go. I just couldn't allow this post separation agreement life to start with bitterness. Though I have felt gut punched one too many times.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
