Wife having emotional affair 5

[3kids]

Update on life!

Sandi to answer your questions. Yes, the wife was what seemed like commitment to try and work things out. We had decided that it was best for the kids if she didn't just jump back into our lives. We were going to take it slow and see some counseling. The first night OM was back BIL went there. Things went well. She said she could handle it when OM came back the second time. It didn't even dawn on me to have her call me or give me updates(I have no clue why stupid trust issues). Don't trust an addict, I know! Sleeping areas where apart for now and she would slowly work into my place. She has gone a wall since Friday(with OM and my kids at old house). So it did look promising.

New news this morning. So with no sleep and my mind going a million miles a minute. I tried to slow down by write my feeling on paper. My main problem as I slowed down, was where were my kids going to be now. With this new development I did not know. And you all know how much my kids mean to me. I had to find an answer. So I started to write a letter to the only person who might know what is going on. Her mom, from what her family has told me. I broke my letter down to a small text basically asking what is the wife's plans with the kids, was I getting them full time or not.

I got a quick phone call. And thought, great what have I just done here comes some yelling or leave me out of it. Well, I got a very worried mother who is afraid for her daughter. When she last talked to her daughter the plan was as scheduled. That was last Thursday. She had been receiving phone calls from BIL (who drives by old house every day) says OM is back at the house. She had been trying to get a hold of her daughter but gets hung up on. Then I got the whole story.

About two or three weeks ago a friend of the wife's really was getting worried about her and her life. She asked her one simple question and was to answer it without a pause. The question was if you where dying with cancer who was standing beside you. Answer me(husband) and the kids. Friend called MIL told her about convo they had and that daughter needs some serious help. Then came the OM iPad. Apparently the wife found it unlocked. Started looking through it. Lots and lots of other women texts. She dumped him with her mom and sister there so she wouldn't believe any of his bull crap. Apparently he got really really violent with her on the phone. Where the MIL took the phone away and told him if she ever saw him again she herself will end him (word to the wise don't mess with a country girl you never know where her shotgun is). MIL said the wife was doing really well with not talking to him. Showed her her phone and everything a couple of times. This is where the family was probably afraid of OM and safety of wife. Now from what MIL said, OM is really really good at manipulating women. Had her even fooled for a long time. Can say all the right stuff to get what he wants. She told me about stories where the wife and OM would go out with friends of the wife's. And the husbands would say we are never going out with them again he is a piece of garbage and treats women like it also. To where she has no friends to even go out with him anymore just by herself. This part I didn't get but some how he has the wife's self-esteem at an all time low. Where she thinks she's not good enough for anybody or anything. Totally makes her feel worthless. The MIL even mentioned something about the kids how it's not good for them to be around OM. Where he could start manipulating them also. She stated the whole family is concerned with the wife's depression and anxiety attacks and want to commit her. OM is very controlling. When they are around her family now, he has it formed into her head that she is not to talk to them. When they call and he is around she hangs up on them. And that's what the wife told the MIL. So she's messed up more than I thought and I truly truly feel bad for her. Total brain washing going on sounds like.

This a was a lot to take in this morning. But some how made me understand more of what's going on. So my plan is when I get my kids back tonight act normal. And hopefully keep them at my house full time. This does not sound like a stable environment for them over there. I can probably make it work because of closing up the house deal in a little less than two weeks away and moving and all. The MIL said she has a plan. She knows she can't stop her daughter or force her into anything. But she can make OM life a living he!!. She was going to wait a day so the kids where gone from old house and pop in on the wife and OM.

None of that is really my concern. My only concern is my kids. And I want to protect them the best I can. Even MIL said that the kids should stay with me full time and the wife can see them when she gets it together. Which made me feel good to have some support on her side with them.

Here's to hoping everything works out ok!

Thanks for caring
3kids