Trying to Follow DB & DR

[MrBond]

"Therein lies my dilemma. If you leave out the fact that she's with OM/OW everything about the situation lines up with everything MWD has written about WAW syndrome."

First off, it's not a "syndrome" per se. Second, you contributed to her leaving by getting into the swinging lifestyle.

"It was really only after she left and continued to see the OM/OW did it go from being something condoned into an A. "

That's just a matter of perspective. You were in an A the minute you started introducing other people into your life. In fact, you are now seen as a hypocrite because you were fine before having sex with someone other than your W, but now you see what she's doing as an A.

Bottom line is that you willingly introduced other people into an intimacy that should have been reserved for just you and your W. But when you let the others in, your W has no need for you because she can now have that intimacy and have her emotional needs met by other people.

Aside from your swinging, what other issues did you have in your M? You can't change what she's doing, but you can change what you do and what things you did to contribute to your marriage downfall.