Just realised wife of 12 years is having a MLC

[Detrmnd]

Ok so the 3rd party reading the messages forwarded me several messages that cut me to the core but that we're also alarming. Firstly the OM visited her 4:30 AM on 18th feb at our old house. Secondly she is discussing with him introducing him to the kids. And that she tells him I am a crazy control freak.

Now the issue I have is that I went round calmly to speak to the W about this on Saturday. As him visiting broke an agreed rule, obviously I had to disclose my knowledge of the messages. She spoke to me through her bedroom door and refused to come for a chat out of te house (I now know why but anyways) I just stated I knew everything about her A and we needed to have a proper chat, she flipped out storm down the stairs screaming g at me that it's not an A its "her fantasy" and that she just says these things as he's pushing her! The kids heard everything. Something I was keen to avoid, but it's now out. I I formed her that I felt she should end her A and commit to counselling and working on our marriage. She screamed she would end it with both of us and that she didn't need anyone.

I then took the children to my mothers and returned to speak to her. I did not cry or shout. I told her things were completely over between us. She cried for about an hour asking why I couldn't has changed earlier, and asking why I didn't complain when she started having interesting conversations on line. I stated that we had both made mistakes but that I couldnt change the past. She had gone back on ending the A and started talking about her need to change and grow etc..

I then called time after an hour and left.

She went straight off to the OM as she does every weekend leaving me to deal and explain to the children why mummy was having an affair. So it's been a great weekend for me! That said within a couple
Of hours the kids had accepted it all and today seem fine but they have been my focus. I worry what they will say to their mum tomorrow night when she picks them up from school.

Fortunately I am away with work Tuesday to Friday so can easily go dark and she will have to deal with this on her own.

So I am moving on with my life, detaching, GAL and moving forward with my therapy. I'll stick to our arrangement of me having Saturday to Monday and every other Wednesday. Rent a flat/apartment and move on with my life.

The funny thing is despite all of the above and the growing detachment I have never found her more attractive. As I learn to listen and actually here her I find her fascinating and interesting. I guess I was just too blind to see until the BD and sadly for all it is now a lot harder for me to fix.

I will be DB'ing. Listening to Sandi2 and hope that one day slowly my W will come back.