Newbie needs advice and encouragement

[Kramer]

Well, I have initiated needed changes in my attitude and am moving forward understanding that my relationship is ending in divorce. I will still hold out the slimmest of hopes that reconciliation may be an option down the road, but I now know that my old relationship is dead. My wife's actions with the affair, coupled with moving out and filing divorce, have been the 2 x 4 that I needed to make this realization.

While her affair and subsequent actions are the impetus for the final outcome, I must also take responsibility for my own actions as well. I now realize that I treated her poorly for years. I would get so angry at her and the kids for not keeping things clean and organized around the house. I would feel disrespected if people didn't do what I thought needed to be done. I was controlling. I was moody. I was critical. I loved my wife and my family, but I did not do a good job of showing it. Toward the end, we argued frequently, but she always backed down. I took this to mean that I was correct in my actions. How wrong I was.

I thought she would never leave, but I did not give her a reason to stay. That is the irony. Now I have a spotless house and no stress, but I am totally alone.