Hey Miman2. Just read up on your sitch. We have a few things in common, both in Michigan, similar time together with W, similar advice from IC and thoughts on LTR. W and I were each others firsts also. In my case I'm still living with my W but I have the same thoughts on certain techniques. Questioning if what I'm doing is really pushing W away or allowing her to stay away instead of drawing her back. IC also tells me I can have conversation with W about anything as long as its honest communication. Confuses me still as to what I should be doing for the best possible outcome.

As for the swinging. You stated before you wanted to go back to the innocent lifestyle, to me that appears you know what you really want. I wouldn't just get back into it for the sole purpose of getting W back. As MrBond said, you will just find yourself in the same problem again later down the road.

I know how hard it can be to view life without the one you really want, but there's no telling what the future holds. It could be that this is your chance to move to the lifestyle you need to be happy. Who's to say W may change her mind and join you, or you could meet someone else in the future that wants what you want.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be