Wife Walked Away 10 Weeks Ago

[Bob723]

Hi mahhhty & all,

Earlier, I wanted to add this text I got from my wife yesterday and get some advice on how to reply, but I had to leave to visit my daughter at college. They had a huge fund-raiser for Make-A-Wish Foundation. I had a good time!

Here's my wife's text:
Listen, before this phone goes out, I don't want to leave things on bad terms. I would like to be on good terms after all this is over. If you can keep the townhouse, that would be great because then you could save the tree that has meant so much to both of us. I think we are both getting stressed out with this whole thing, I personally would like to get it all done as soon as possible. But the more paperwork, the longer and longer it streches out costing you more money! It's your choice. Take care of yourself as well, I hope you will have a good future.

Folks, I'm not stretching this out at all. She has paperwork to fill out because that's what our judge ruled a week ago Friday (Pre-Trial for splitting our assets). He said, "She is not acting in good faith." She fails to comply with court orders.

Note that she wrote "Take care of yourself as well..." As I wrote in my previous posting, we do wish that to each other occasionally. She also wished me "a good future." Several days ago, I said something like, "no matter how this turns out, I wish you a good future." She sometimes will say she cares about me, but only after I say it first.

I don't know what to make of this. She seems to want her freedom at 51. True love means letting go, I know that. But this kills me because my wife never suggested we try counseling before making this decision. My children (her step-children) know that nobody is perfect, but they feel so hurt and confused. They saw, when we had them over every other weekend, the care I provided for my wife, wich any good husband would. I still think back to when we first spoke after she left. She mentioned a couple we know where the woman who filed changed her mind at their final court date.

Is she giving me the gift of time to work on myself? Does she want to see if I'll truly let her go withour stretching this out? Of course, only she knows.

My children (18, 21 and 23) think I should forget about her and move on. They may be correct--but as those of you on this forum know--that is easier said than done.

Anyone out there have a suggestion?

Thanks!!

Bob