For the Newcomer LBH who has a wayward wife Part 2

[Zues126]

Joe- you're making the faulty assumption that there is a "winning play" you can make that will bring your W back, and quickly at that. So by that rationale anything that doesn't immediately get her to come back to you isn't working.

Bad news. You can't control her. There is nothing on ANY forum that can change her mind. That is up to her.

That's a hard reality. Many people try DBing as a form of control, trying to do anything and everything to try to keep control of their relationship. That doesn't work. It just keeps them from detaching as they interpret every mood of their WAS as a sign of working or not working.

But while there isn't a magic bullet that will guarantee your WAS will return, there are things proven to destroy those chances. Sandi is sharing some of those things in this thread and with the rules condensed from DB/DR. And while these don't guarantee a WAS will return, it will help you grow stronger as a person, lead a better life, and be the best person you can be. Ultimately that's all you can do to set yourself up for a healthy R in the future.

For it to get your WAS back she has to notice, believe those changes, AND be willing to do some work herself. Sadly that is up to her. But that IS the best thing you can do for yourself and your R.