I'd like to draw your attention to this portion which is a variation of the same theme you all have said in your own threads over time:
Originally Posted By: Joe406
My wife has never sat down and said, this bothers me when you do this or I want us to spend more time together or it hurts me when you act this way or say a certain thing. I would have at least known we had some problems.
I would challenge this very grieviously erroneous "A$$umption" on your part for your wives have ALL said over a period of time how unhappy they were but you all have TUNED them out as "nagging." Then one day, the nagging stops. In your mind, all's well because she's stopped doing it...and you think the M is in good shape.
As MWD eloquently explains in the book, when your wife stops nagging, then your M has slipped into the danger zone because your wife has completely given up on the notion that you've heard her and not taking her concerns seriously.
This is when your W drops the bomb...and you come crying here all "shocked" that not a word was said about how unhappy she truly was in the M.
Then you feign shock at the BD. Well, that got your attention FAST...alas...a bit too little, too late AFTER MONTHS (AND PROBABLY YEARS) of "nagging."
Really??!!
Are you all so tone deaf that you never HEARD a single word from your W raising the alarm about the state of the M and her unhappiness??!
Let me spell it out for you clearly here:
Your wife stops communicating her concerns because she's seen that YOU'VE not taken her concerns seriously despite her best efforts to call your attention to the growing problem.
You think all's well when she stops "yapping" at you. You think that your wife is all happy again.
Delusional thinking.
I am sure with your 20/20 hindsight now, you realize that the hints and clues were all there for you all along and YOU missed them.
