Its rough to know your W may be out with OM, but don't let your emotions/feelings right now cause you to react to the situation at all. You may be angry, its understandable, but doing something will not help. Saying something to her will not help. You need to try and control those feelings, especially when speaking with your D14. She may be feeding off your emotions and seeing you in pain, so she wants to be on your side and help.

Yes, your W is the one to cause this right now but you you need to be the stability for D14. Are you asking D14 about W at all? If so I would stop that immediately. She shouldn't be confirming anything about W to you. I'm not sure what to do if shes providing that information without you asking, but even implying you want it causes her to get in the middle.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be