If you respond to this, try to do it from your POV completely, what you can do, leaving out what he did or didn't do.
A little exercise I learned from my IC: State what you don't want in a R.
Now turn that around to what you want.
Then address what of that you control: eg. I want a R in which I'm heard. To have a R in which I'm heard, I must be present. I must listen and hear.
Labug, I re-read your reply more closely and realized that I didn't respond to ^^^ this.
So, I'm thinking on it.
I want a R in which I'm heard. To have a R in which I'm heard, I must be present. I must listen and hear.
I cannot change who he is. I cannot change who he is. I cannot change who he is. I CAN change me. I CAN change me. I CAN change me.
I want to be the kind of person who can hear, and understand, and validate someone else's feelings. I want to be the kind of person who doesn't have to "Prove" she's right.
I want to be the kind of person who can find the balance between being able to validate someone else's feelings, and acknowledge her own mistakes while also setting healthy boundaries and not be bullied or disrespected.
I want to have a R in which I feel loved. I want to be with someone out of love, not fear. In order to have that kind of R, I must be able to show love and confidence.
I can't change whether he gets pissed at me, or whether he blames me for all of this. I CAN choose to not take the bait, however. I hope to get better at doing that in the moment. I hope to get better at staying mindful and not letting my 'fight or flight' response kick in so that I can't think of how to respond calmly.
