Masterpiece - a little more progress...

[Jer2911]

I have spent the past few days immersed in some serious bible study and prayer, and as a result my eyes have been opened to some blessings that have occurred in my life since BD.

To be very clear -- I know we are still in this mess for the long-haul and that W and I still have our own individual journeys to take through her MLC... We are still moving towards separation/divorce, I am still focusing on getting a full-time job (had a great interview last week) so I can move out, W is still in a major MLC with no awareness of her need to focus inward to solve her problems, and W's (escape fantasy) EA with OW is still going strong. God has not worked any huge miracle in our life -- but God is working on many things throughout this sitch and I wanted to share those things here as a way to recognize and give God some praise for doing these things in my/our lives.

I also posted this in the Prayer Circle thread in the Infidelity forum, but felt the need to share it here as well. What I failed to mention in the original post over in the other forum is another huge blessing with the awesome job interview that I had last week. That interview was amazing, and it also opened my eyes to how God has been working in my life ALL of my life, even when I didn't feel His presence or request His guidance -- my CV/resume reflects nothing short of divine guidance in many of my career decisions that allowed me to take some interesting and exciting detours leading me to a unique set of knowledge and skills that make me very "attractive" right now in my field.

So here is the original post...

I am reflecting on how much I have been praying for God to "fix" my W and to heal/restore our marriage, and as I reflect on this I am becoming more and more aware of how God is working in my life since BD.

To be clear -- my W still wants separation/divorce and her EA with OW is still going strong... To the point where they are planning additional trips to see in each other in person, and W & I have had open conversations about OW and their intentions to have a future together.

However...

Since BD, as I have been praying and more recently engaging in a more active study of the bible, I can now see where God is working in this entire sitch and I feel the need to share it here as a way to give God some praise for the work He is doing here...

1. I am increasingly growing in my faith and developing a much closer relationship with God that I have NEVER had in my entire life... and it is only through this relationship that I have been able to be as strong as I have been through what has felt like a living nightmare in my life.

2. I am still living in our home with my W and our children -- despite W's desire that I would move out right after Christmas. Not only am I still living here, but...

3. W and I are actually getting along like good friends -- and I was convinced around Christmas time that if I didn't move out as soon as possible that W's anger and bitterness would only grow and she would end up hating me... Which leads me to believe that...

4. God is working on softening W's heart towards me... That God is working on removing the anger and bitterness that W was feeling towards me and replacing it with, at the very least, friendly feelings... And this strengthens my faith that God is working to turn her heart around despite what I see and hear regarding her EA with OW...

5. I know for a fact now that W and OW still have only had an EA because I now know for certain that OW is "saving" herself for marriage. This is a huge blessing in my opinion -- an EA is still horrible and of course this could change in the future, but for now the EA has not become a PA.

6. Our weekends have been filled with much more quality family time than before BD. Both W and I seem to be making a greater effort over the past several weeks to focus more on the kids on the weekend -- going out to dinner together as a family, playing games together at home, choosing movies that all of us can watch together, etc.

Yes, the sitch still appears to be headed towards a poor outcome for our R/M, but my faith is growing that God is working to turn this around and I am working hard to rely on my faith in God and not on my own understanding. Notice I said the sitch "appears" and not "is" -- because I don't know what kind of work God is doing right now in my W's heart and in the heart of OW. :-) Some of the blessings listed above are small, but a couple are rather huge... not quite as huge as my W having a sudden and overwhelming urge to reconcile, but these are still victories in my opinion and I feel that is so very important that I give God some praise for all of these blessings.

God is great and I know He is working strongly within me and within our lives. I fully believe that He is working all things for good in my life right now, and I intend to continue praying as I also continue to recognize any and all blessings that come our way as we go through this very difficult trial in our lives.