Prayer Circle

[Jer2911]

I am reflecting on how much I have been praying for God to "fix" my W and to heal/restore our marriage, and as I reflect on this I am becoming more and more aware of how God is working in my life since BD.

To be clear -- my W still wants separation/divorce and her EA with OW is still going strong... To the point where W and I have had open conversations about OW and their intentions to have a future together.

However...

Since BD, as I have been praying and more recently engaging in a more active study of the bible, I can now see where God is working in this entire sitch and I feel the need to share it here as a way to give God some praise for the work He is doing here...

1. I am increasingly growing in my faith and developing a much closer relationship with God that I have NEVER had in my entire life... and it is only through this relationship that I have been able to be as strong as I have been through what has felt like a living nightmare in my life.

2. I am still living in our home with my W and our children -- despite W's desire that I would move out right after Christmas. Not only am I still living here, but...

3. W and I are actually getting along like good friends -- and I was convinced around Christmas time that if I didn't move out as soon as possible that W's anger and bitterness would only grow and she would end up hating me... Which leads me to believe that...

4. God is working on softening W's heart towards me... That God is working on removing the anger and bitterness that W was feeling towards me and replacing it with, at the very least, friendly feelings... And this strengthens my faith that God is working to turn her heart around despite what I see and hear regarding her EA with OW...

5. I know for a fact now that W and OW still have only had an EA because I now know for certain that OW is "saving" herself for marriage. This is a huge blessing in my opinion -- an EA is still horrible and of course this could change in the future, but for now the EA has not become a PA.

6. Our weekends have been filled with much more quality family time than before BD. Both W and I seem to be making a greater effort over the past several weeks to focus more on the kids on the weekend -- going out to dinner together as a family, playing games together at home, choosing movies that all of us can watch together, etc.

Yes, the sitch still appears to be headed towards a poor outcome for our R/M, but my faith is growing that God is working to turn this around and I am working hard to rely on my faith in God and not on my own understanding. Notice I said the sitch "appears" and not "is" -- because I don't know what kind of work God is doing right now in my W's heart and in the heart of OW. :-) Some of the blessings listed above are small, but a couple are rather huge... not quite as huge as my W having a sudden and overwhelming urge to reconcile, but these are still victories in my opinion and I feel that is so very important that I give God some praise for all of these blessings.

God is great and I know He is working strongly within me and within our lives. I fully believe that He is working all things for good in my life right now, and I intend to continue praying as I also continue to recognize any and all blessings that come our way as we go through this very difficult trial in our lives.