Wife having emotional affair 5

[sandi2]

Here's the thing about the trust issue. It is completely different, now, than when you fist in love and M her. She was not required to give an account of her actions, whereabouts, gaps in time, etc. She did not have to backup her stories with any documentation. Her "word" was good enough for you. You did not ask her, was not suspicious, nor doubt her, b/c the M was founded on love & trust in each other. However, she shattered that foundation.

3kids, you must not trust her while she is in this stage. Her being with OM is like giving an addict a fix and expecting him not to feel react. She is not cured, she hasn't even started withdrawal yet. She cannot be trusted b/c she's an addict. A new foundation of trust has to be laid, and until she has gone through complete withdrawal from him, she is craving her fix.

Some WW's will tell the H he will just have to deal with his worries and trust her. As if to say, "I am not going to take responsibility and earn your trust, you are on your own". Everything in the relationship has shifted, and for you, or her, to expect you to just trust her with blind faith is nonsense. That is just not how it works. That is why a transparency plan has to be agreed upon and put into immediate effect.

When a guilty person goes to trial, does he just flippantly tell the jury they will just have to trust him? Or does he try to produce something to that gives credibility to back up his statements? If this M is important enough to her, she will be willing to earn back your trust. But at the moment she is untrustworthy.

I have tried to keep up with your thread, but tell me, has she said she want to do whatever it takes to work on the M? I know she said it is over with OM, and I think I remember her expressing some remorse, but am I to understand the two of you are inching toward working a reconciliation?

You knew OM going to back to pick up another load. Was anyone with her or were they alone? Was she there for hours? Did you hear anything from her last night, or did she stay gone all night? What are the sleeping arrangements?

Btw, I think you should be with her when she gives the kids her "explanation". You need to hear what she tells them. For her to want to talk to them without you, suggests she will put you in a less than favorable light when telling her side of the story.