I know, it would seem that way, that she should be afraid of me..maybe she is for all I know. Maybe I have watched too many Lifetime For Women movies, but I don't feel like she is a stable person. Here is why: She has lived here for 4 years and has no friends, literally no support network. She is divorcing her husband (this allegedly occurred before she and my H. got together) and as a note he was also her former professor - not the best pattern. Her entire family lives in another country - so there is no support there. And, the main thing is before this happened, she was very obsessive about what I was wearing and my make-up...it was really weird. She always stopped me in the hall and would literallly notice if I was wearing new eyeliner and quiz me about it and then talk about how pretty she thought I was....it was so over the top that I was uncomfortable, and this is before she and H. got together (or I think it was). She is 2 years older than I am (I am 35), so she is not a young 20 year old... There are other things like she was always interested in our adoption and wanted progress reports and she came into my office and listened to lullabies with me, this is after they started their R....
I don't know, all this together to me, does not paint a picture of a stable person, a person with no network of support except my H., in a stressful phd program, who was seemed overly interested in my clothing and appearance... I don't know if I am over reacting b/c I tend to have anxiety, or if these are valid issues to be concerend about, or if I am focusing on them, to get the focus off of me and our R.!
That said, I guess I am going to work on following the advice of not focusing on her. She is not my problem, he is. I need to have a plan of action of how I will cope when I See her. Or a plan on how to minimize the times I see her.
It's funny you mention some of my colleagues might know. My H. is clueless, he thinks no one knows....I just cannot imagine that that is possible.
Tonight's update:
I have not heard from H. tonight...in the past, before things got like this I mean, he would have called from out of town a few times..in some ways it is sad then b/c I feel like it is this crazy game...he called me too many times today (in his mind) so now he is going to back peddle......However, even though this is causing me some pain, I have not started calling him and pursuing him. I left him one voice mail when I came from yoga. Now I am going to sleep. So, this is progress for me at least.
Tomorrow I am spending time with girlfriends in Cincinnati and going to the art museum. I will probably come back into town after he gets home, and that is good for me as before I would not have made any plans so I could be here when he got home!
