I'll just observe that you've found yourself in a less than ideal situation.
I did auto loans for years. We didn't make loans based on feelings, we based them off of income/credit/collateral. If someone had shaky credit, we'd make them provide paystubs and other documentation to verify income. I am starting to think of these situations like I was underwriting a loan application.
In this case the "application" is WHAT SHE HAS GIVEN YOU TO PROVE HER SINCERITY TO REBUILD AN M. What you are "lending" is your willingness to share your life, be her H, give her your trust and forgiveness, etc.
The problem is when you get too excited about some of the things going on you'll blindly overlook red flags in the other areas. You say you make $50,000/year but they don't give you pay stubs so you can't verify it? That's fine, I don't want that to hold us up...I'm telling you, it's flashing back. I did subprime for years and every time someone made up a story about why they couldn't prove something it was bogus. Some got offended, like how dare I ask, etc. Rambling now.
Point is- no one is easier to con then someone that wants to believe them. I feel you have let her back into your life TOO FAR AND TOO EASILY for a woman that is in a fantasy world, addicted to OM, and trying to avoid consequences.
What I expect to happen is for her to play you, you to feel ok about it because "you believe in M and wanted to give it every chance" and you'll feel that way until you see it just enables her and she's just pulling you into her garbage world, then eventually you really will detach and move on and live a separate life. At that point she'll have some road ahead of her and so will you. From there who knows.
But I'm NOT a vet. Just my rantings on a Saturday morning. VETS- chime in!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
