Wife Walked Away 10 Weeks Ago

[mahhhty]

Bob. I think I have put the time in with you, so I hope you know I am invested in your future. And I really want you do be the Best Bob Ever! (even though my Dad's name is Bob... perhaps that's a conflict of interest).

If you agree with that please read on, if not stop. DISCLAIMER.... If you read on, grab a beer, and relax, I don't say nice things. I apologize if I am too abrupt or mean.

I knew you would read on. YOU ARE NOT USING THIS BOARD TO YOUR BENEFIT. There is HUNDREDS of case studies here, and THOUSANDS of people. You are not reaching out, you are not posting enough, you are not learning. You should have posted your response or text to her FIRST. She said "Oh, and by the way - it was mostly you." Because that is what you are reinforcing. You are enabling her!

That text was PURSUING HER and it was NOT NICE.

We both have a part in this divorce. Seriously. You said that? Pursuing! By you saying it, she will never have to face this reality. B/C you are proving her RIGHT!

It's actually really sad for me to hear that you don't sound very happy. oh that will make her feel better. NOT!

Maybe I wasn't the entire cause of all your unhappiness? Couldn't the MS, ruptured disks, and migraine headaches have something to do with it too? I did my best to support a spouse with many physical ailments--something you'll probably never understand. SERIOUSLY!!!! CONDESCENDING! MEAN! AND ONE SIDED! Guess what the flip side of this is that YOU have NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR HER! For better or for worst. Right and Wrong DO NOT MATTER! You are digging yourself a hole!

I can look myself in the mirror and say that I did my best. What was the point of this statement? Who are you trying to convince? You or her?

I am still willing to try to work things out between us but it seems very obvious you made up your mind a long time ago. SHE LEFT! SHE MADE HER DECISION. Being MEAN and then saying this... What did you think would happen?

Silly me Condescending!!!! She is an adult. Treat her like one. Perhaps you should treat her as a coworker at this point.

I thought if I got the proper help you'd look back and be compassionate and understanding and realize that that wasn't the true Bob around the time you left. That is your game plan and you just told her it.

The great part of all of this is I feel so much better about myself and look forward to a wonderful future--with or without you. Do you? Really? You are a better Bob and feel so much better with your life? I would assume that you are lying.

Take care, please. Do you really mean that? Or where you being mean?

BOB - there are people on the message board, including me, that post their text messages and emails prior to reaching out. The reason for this is.... "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - ALBERT EINSTEIN. Meaning that the people who cause their problems, need to think differently, and not be haphazard and "off the cuff."


If you want a chance with your wife...

READ everything ever written by Sandi (especially recently on Left Behind Husbands (LBH)). You need to be more proactive in your education, and change the way you think.

STOP sending emails and texts without consultation

POST MORE. Posting more will get you more involved with the culture. More involved with other's stories. More in tune with yourself.

A Smart Man learns from his mistakes, A Wise Man learns from other's mistakes!

BE WISE!

And I am sorry if this was too harsh, but I think you needed to hear/read it.