Trying to Follow DB & DR

[Miman2]

No and no. Several of my friends in the lifestyle have tried to get me to come out to events since the BD so I could GAL by getting out of the house but I don't think it's a great idea to do so.

Shortly before the BD we talked about getting out once we had moved to Florida. I think her idea was stop the swinging but try to continue the poly relationship.

I'd like to leave it all behind, I could try to give the poly thing another shot maybe. My IC keeps trying to make it work, I dunno if he's trying to normalize it or he just sees them as another support for me. Anyway at this point though I think the relationship between me and everyone other than the W has been poisoned beyond repair. They all went on vacation together during our 2nd week of separation.

Somehow I don't think she'll budge on the poly thing though. That was something she kept repeating towards the end. That it was what she wanted to do and if I didn't want that then maybe we wanted different things out of life and shouldn't be together anymore.

We had an argument about her love for the OM/OW the week before the BD. I told her we could tell her family about it and she said she couldn't do that I told her that was because it wasn't real. We went to our "separate corners" and she later came around saying sorry and that I was right, it wasn't real. When we were supposed to meet up with them a week later though she had a spare wallet, a hard drive backup of her computer and our passports packed. Makes me think her plan was to leave me that weekend either way.

Before the BD I had said on occasion that I wished we could go back to our pure/innocent times before we started in the lifestyle. I keep thinking maybe this is our chance to have that? The old marriage is gone and this is making way for a new one, one where we can start fresh and build a new innocent relationship together. I don't know if that makes any sense, how do people who have come through this feel about their M/R. Does it feel different? Does it feel new?