I definitely will keep posting to others threads. I don't feel as if I am a 'vet' by any means and although what I say to do I may not have done in the beginning of my sitch it is what worked. I know it's hard to hear when you're not in a good place but it is what works.
Although my H filed for D and had OW - I didn't learn of OW until a few months post BD. So at that time I was the crying,pleading, writing a 5 page letter W. So unattractive.
When I found out about OW I had already gone pretty dark (well to me). Through the course of the months during his OW time - H initiated communication. I hardly did unless it was kid, bill or house related. I was pretty curt and short with him overall. H could never look at me or be in person with me. The couple times we went to dinner (before I knew of OW) he acted very friendly and chatty. Once I found out about OW I didn't mention Her. As much as I wanted to she wasn't worth it. I didn't want them to know they had the satisfaction of my response (hence her 12000 Instagram and FB photos of them with childish quotes)
Anyway, I started to change over the summer. I really feel like I got the hang of the DB thing Bc I started to really be happy. I was making great money, had a great job, my boys were happy and we were getting used to our new life. Up until the end of May H never had to interact with me in person (his choice). Well once the boys started basketball that changed. He had to see me. So I ised every opportunity I had to show him how happy we were without him. I was dressed nice (not overdone). We were always busy and I never stayed to chat. I did experiment and play basketball afterwards with him and the boys but it was about the kids not about hanging onto time with H.
Anyway at that time I'm not sure if in my threads its reflected but there was a slow change. He was more angry with me through text initially. Then he started reaching out slowly. Slowly he was able to stop by the house, sit next to me at basketball, would send a text checking on my when he heard of a shooting at my work etc. I didn't take any of this (at the time) as him having a change of heart. To me he was so entangled with Ow (mindreading)
The last basketball game I made sure to be dressed up. It was a Friday night and it was S3's last game. Wedges, hair and makeup done and in a hurry after the game. S6 said daddy asked where mommy was going. Haha! I have to totally thank Train for that by the way. Little did he know I was going to a family dinner. He had been seeing me text the last couple weeks before smiling and had previously asked who it was - I just answered a friend (which was a guy I had been talking to from work).
Anyway the first night we went to dinner when he wanted to talk. - he asked about that night. He wanted to know where I went. He said it was driving him crazy thinking that I had someone in my life. He showed up at my house the next day after that basketball game. He hadn't come over when I was home forever. Then a few days later he stopped by again. I also still wasn't thinking anything of any of these things.
He said he wondered what I was doing and knew he had no right to ask but it bothered him. It bothered him to see the boys and I so happy without him. It bothered him seeing photos through friends on my Facebook (I hAd deleted him) of the boys and I having fun. I took the boys on a week vacation alone on our family tradition vacation. At first he said he responding angry bc of course I was faking it. There was no way we were so happy without him, there was no way I was actually happy to not be with him. Then he said as time progressed and he saw that i continued on that way he realized maybe I WAS really happy. He said he really started regretting his decision in June when he had to be around me on a couple days a week basis.
To be honest I don't know what I believe. He was still pretty terrible during that time up until August. I'm on my phone so this may not all make sense as usual but just a little synopsis so you guys don't have to read through my overly emotionally unstable threads lol
