Alpha - rollercoasting #3

[alpha99]

I've just got back!

Our family meal out went quite well. First of all it was a joy to see my children. When my W went to the toilet at one point I asked them if they were having fun staying at their nans. They said yeah. I asked them if they missed seeing their dad every day. They said yes. I said 'you know your daddy loves you and I wish I could be with every day. Every second I'm not with you I miss you'. Then I gave them a kiss. My W and I have tried to keep the kids out of everything as much as possible. However, I never want my children to feel like I don't want to be there so I thought is have that brief word with them.

As for W and I, well, one of the first things W said as I met them 'don't think anything is happening, I'm only here for the kids'. I casually said 'oh yeah, I know.'

W was on the phone a lot. She even went and hid in the toilet at one point. I had to take the kids to the toilet and she was stood next to the toilet doors on her phone. She used her phone throughout the meal, saying she had to talk to a workmate. When I first met her she was on the phone and said to whoever she'd have to go because Alpha is here.

I kept things upbeat and friendly whilst not really making much effort to initiate conversation. I did on a few occasions but only general chit chat, no R talk. I didn't get emotional at all, which was very important not to do today.

W initiated conversation on a few occasions, mainly about her work and work friends.

After the meal I took them back by car to MIL's, said goodbye and kisses the kids. W and I exchanged a quick 'see you.'

Overall I got the impression that she would rather not have to speak to me, what with her texting on her phone an awful lot, nipping to the foyer to look at fish with the kids, asking again and again was I ready to leave. She barely spoke throughout but did speak pleasantly on a few occasions. There wasn't any animosity, no R talk, no talk of D, no talk of her new place (kids told me privately they haven't moved in yet), and no talk of incidents whilst son was ill. No talk of when I would see the kids next etc.

That's not much to cheer about but given a week ago W was threatening world war 3 then I suppose I have to be happy with things.

One thing that springs to mind now because we were all in the car today is that last week or so, maybe 10 days ago now when we had the school assembly, W was in car with me when I mentioned something in passing about 'my car.' She replied saying 'oh, it's just your car now is it?'. I found that odd as my dad helped me buy the car and did so after I'd split with W. She then questioned this buying of the car and asked why we hadn't bought it before. Like I say I found it odd that she might see something as 'ours' when it clearly isn't. It could just be something said in passing or maybe it was something else.