Trying to Follow DB & DR

[Miman2]

I was reading through Thorton's thread and it was mentioned that IF contact is ever made that it should be kinda light with no talk of the R or the future.

Since the IC has been hinting that I should reach out to her I mentioned that I would probably follow that plan. Just ask her out to lunch and just have lunch, talk about any thing else other than our R or the future.

He mentioned that he thought I should also talk about not only what changes/growth I've been making but also what I have found that I want out of a relationship.

I don't know what he thinks the impact would be other than it would be a (right/wrong/unknown) step towards opening lines of communication. He sees that my main issue I've been trying to deal with is the total lack of communication. I think he thinks that with or without her, there should be communication involved to either help with reconciliation or help with moving on.

I brought up the "speak with your actions" approach. Specifically my whole issue of my 180's appearing more like self-preservation rather than a true life change. His response was something along the lines of, "it's like the spouse of an alcoholic who all of a sudden has stopped drinking. they might question did they really stop or is it just temporary? only time will tell..."

I think he's giving more credit to the W's willingness to wait and see if the 180's are real or not.