Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[dejavu2]

123Gwen and Job - Thanks for the guiding words. With all the crazy, sometimes you need to know your doing something right. My inner voice tells me everything is going to be ok for me and children.

The kids are all doing better today. I wanted them to know before they broke up for Easter Break as they are off 4 weeks. They all went to the last day of school today and were able to have a routine with friends without any academic pressures. The older ones decided to go to friend's houses after school (I think they are trying to avoid sitch). Kids are all being very supportive of each other, I know I have done something right.

H is festering in anger over telling the children. I gave him the full opportunity to lead the discussion; however he wouldn't bring it up. Sitting with H today and feeling his anger, I really want to try to "fix" this situation but realise that I cannot as I have no control. He needs to learn to stand alone and figure out what is going to give him true happiness before we could work.

I reminded the children that H has been absent most of past 3 years and maybe that was a rehearsal for what is to come. When H was traveling so much I hated doing family things w/o him, so often would do individual things. I have realised that we ARE a family without H - We will survive.

Girls said they just want me to be happy. I told them I am going to be happy because I have a soul which sings (even if it is off key). Happiness/joy is one of core values. I want my kids to learn how to face adversity and rise above it!

Perhaps I am learning a few important life lessons thru this process as well.

I am leaving next week to take eldest on a holiday abroad to see friends. Anything I should prepare for in advance of leaving for a week?