So, big dilemma with your lost W. I have a big mess in my sitch too, but will give you some encouragement here.
Having kids does not automatic makes communication better. You see, when you have the kids then the subject are the kids and you feel that WAS is cold as hell sometimes, it's just business.
First...many people told me that I need to understand that my H is lost and needs time to be back into normal mode. What do I need to do to be patient during the time that he is figuring out what he wants or needs?
GET A LIFE... DO ALL THE GAL ACTIVITIES I CAN...
Why? To save myself from insanity. Why? Because it is not healthy for me to think about my sitch 24/7. Why? Because I deserve respect. Why? Because if you become strong, secure, and don't give a damn for the WAS then they pay attention on you and they become curious.
I know very well how much it hurts to be left behind, with no hope. You are dealing with rejection, a little of depression too, disillusions, a strong pain inside your heart and soul.
But who are you? Are you this guy that will be all beaten up and give up the fight? You may lose battles, but you may be in a long run to win the War. Don't you?
What about changing strategies? If your soldiers are dying on a front line, would you send more soldiers to die tomorrow? Or you would look for strategies and surprise the enemy?
Answering your W's phone calls are just giving you the illusion of closeness but deep inside you know it is not working so well.
What can you do to make her think she is losing you? Maybe do not answer all the time? Maybe, you calculate and start spacing her calls with time, this way she will feel it.
It's obvious she is lost, and she needs you more then she understands right now. You are her safety, the one that cares for her and she knows it. The only problem is that once she made a decision to split, she also decided to look into the negative of your R, and that will take a while to wear off.
Tlee, even if it hurts, I think that you can make waves, disappear for some time, then out of the blue, sent her a joke or something you know she likes, then disappear again. She will notice that you are there but you may be slipping through her fingers now.
The point here is that you are running in cheese less tunnels and it is just consuming time and energy from you.
I am not a vet yet but I have been getting real lessons that are changing the way I was doing things regarding my H. Sometimes less is more.
Regarding the money, I think you are totally right. She needs to face the consequences of her choices. About the online class it is the same. Your W is being very immature and you know this class is just another immature decision without purpose.
She says there is no OM, then why are you so sure there is one? Could it be that their R is just a friendship? Do you have any common friends that can tell you something more solid about her R with this OM?
The easy part is to give up, quit. It takes a real soldier to battle to win. One day, when you surrender, put your weapons down, at least you will know that all the blood on the ground was worth it and you will rest knowing you did it all.
