Thanks raliced. Coincidentally, I just cross-posted on your thread.
The reason I made it her decision is because:
1) If I decided to go to my sister's without her, she could build the narrative that I am the villain who excluded her, or that my sister is the villain who excluded her. Both narratives could potentially damage my children's relationship with me or my sister.
2) If I decided to stay home for the holiday, she could shift the blame to me and cast me as the villain who is depriving the children of their family holiday/vacation.
So either way I would look like the villain. I did not think that was fair. So I put the decision in her hands. I honestly don't know what the right thing to do was/is. Bottom line: whatever choice she made would suck because it is a sucky sitch.
