I think one of my remaining fears is the narrative that STBX seems to be creating that, yes he did something wrong, but he's being a martyr now by deferring to me on everything.
Ditto for my WW. She was determined enough to serve me dissolution papers, but now she has become completely passive and conflict- avoidant. So now I am destined to live in D purgatory unless I take active steps to make it happen - including pay for it, arrange the mediator appointments, arrange the Jewish writ of D. I think our spouses' martyr complex is the only thing protecting them from the ugly truth.
