I just got off of phone with W. She has decided that we should not, after all these years, be with my sister for Passover. I lost my composure for the first time in a while and told her that I know what she is doing. I told her that one day, when she is older and wiser, she will see clearly what she did to her family. I told her that thanks to her behavior, there will be separations before every holiday. I told her that her selfish actions are depriving the children of their family already. I asked her what she is going to tell the kids and she came up with one of her great lies: that it is too difficult to travel this year with the upcoming bar-mitzvah - it is a tiny 3hr drive that I can do with my eyes closed and the kids can almost pack themselves. I want to throw her under the bus and tell the kids that it would not be too difficult, and I am happy to do it, and auntie wants so badly for us to come, but Mommy said "no". When does she get to be accountable for her actions? Why all this sneaking around to protect her? When does she get to feel the loss?
On top of this, I just noticed that I am on service again in April - for the non-physicians out there: stressful, physically and emotionally draining even when life is swell, much worse when your home life is disintegrating and you are lacking adequate emotional support because your spouse went insane. I feel so alone right now and I really could use a steady stream of hugs from others who understand.
