Here is a quote from a post I made in koalada's thread that (more) succinctly explains my sitch with the upcoming holidays:
Originally Posted By: RAI
vis a vis a family get-together for Passover: Either we go to my sisters without W and my kids are deprived of their mother, or we stay home as a family, and my kids are deprived of their aunt and cousins. My W is so torn and cannot decide what to do. It is sickening that she brought this upon her family and now is agonizing how to make things good for the children - without even thinking about changing herself or ending the A.
We have gone to my sister's for years. They are our closest family - both geographically and emotionally. My kids are begging us to go to my sister's house for the holiday. My W can't accept the fact that no matter what option we choose, someone will miss out. What my W does not get (or denies) is that this is going to be the future for our children. She is depriving them of so much and I can't do much about it. CARD29, where is the light at the end of the tunnel? We are still M and in the same home and I am already struggling with this new reality. Every holiday, occasion, and celebration will have attached to it some sort of negotiation, accompanied by a parting. How very painful. Any advice for holiday times?
