Just realised wife of 12 years is having a MLC

[Detrmnd]

Did as instructed, parents evening went well. She laughed at several small things and seemed in good spirits. She didn't ask if I was going out so I said nothing.

She wants to confirm a financial settlement ASAP, she would like all the bills transferred to her name and me to then pay her a monthly amount. We would split debts, she has also budgeted a small amount for me to pay my mother for food and board and we are left with the same amount of surplus each.

I am wary as to why she wants everything in her name rather than me just paying it all directly as I do. I think she plans to scale back expenditure once I have agreed the amount so as to give her more surplus each month. My issue being that I am happy to pay for the nice things like cable tv so my children can enjoy them, but I am not paying for them then to be switched off and her have the excess. How can I ensure that I am paying to keep my children in comfort and not so she can lead the lifestyle she wants?

Don't get me wrong, this whole thing has taught me how little money means to me. Indeed all the baubles and wealth I have accumulated seem worthless, when they were the thing I used to measure my success with. I really don't care about the financial side of this but am trying to remain logical, fair and reasonable.

I also realise that this is a large test of my DB'ing so as to not be too soft or confrontational.