Rzrback, I am late with this post, but I hope you will not push for a controlled S. By doing so, it tells her you are still wanting to control her life and that you are not letting go of her. I know how scary it must be to take that risk, but I think it will go very badly to insist on no dating.
She must see this step to S as you leaving her. Not seeing you standing on the sideline, coaching her in what to do and not do. Don't hold on to the rope, just drop it in the dirt. B/c she is not going to honor any boundary at this point. She initiated this round of fights b/c she wants an excuse to get out and be free to do her own thing.
If you insist on a controlled S, she will want to go straight for D.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
