Rock Bottom at 30

[skr4luv]

Unlike in many other situations I see on these boards, my W has toned down the A and is acting nice. A facade? After everything she said and done it's very hard to trust her. I know the texting is still going on, probably phone calls and short meetings. It's like her mind is opening up for reconciliation, but her heart isn't much in it. She still listens and sings songs that I'm sure reminds her of him.
As weak as it may sound, I see it as an improvement from the times where she would just disappear and come back the next day or 2 days later.

Now that she's more present at home, and herself starting talks about future vacations and home rearrangements... how do I get her to fully commit again? I know she expects me to court to win her over, but according to DBers that's perceived as weak and with the OM in the picture it's impossible. Nevertheless, we have improved communication, spending time together etc.
I would like to think she has at least one foot back in the our M.

Should I let her do her thing til her A dies out, like the Lighthouse story? The downside to that is it's just not healthy for me.

Or should I insist on NC? I told her that before but she obviously didn't cooperate. This could blow up and make her go back to OM again.

A more drastic move would be to tell her if she doesn't stop I'm proceeding with my previous plans of going back to SE Asia for a while then come back when I'm over the situation, and we can get D when I'm back. As I would still have to work 2 months after resignation is filed, I'll be living at my parent's place. During that time of NC with the W she may or may not make her mind and heart up fully on what she wants to do.