Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[123Gwen]

Don't be so hard on yourself. There is no good way to tell the children. H threw himself under the bus. I am farther down the road than you and I can honestly say that I have never regretted being honest with my children in an age appropriate manner as long as I didn't dwell on the tough stuff. What I mean by that is your children needs to know you will be honest but they also need to know you will be the adult and be their parent. They are counting on you to be the dependable adult parent and you must not let them down.

You can do this Dejavu. It is going to be your greatest challenge but have faith in yourself and listen to your inner voice.

One more thing --- I wish I could tell you that H moving far away will take you out of limbo land. It won't unfortunately. In many ways life is easier because you have the home, the friends, the family you created and people generally don't ask questions. It is a blessing but you still live in the land of in between no matter where they are and if you've even talked to them. Not being married is something you have to choose and I have no idea how you get to that place.

Sending you my prayers and best wishes. You can get through this and find your own path. Hang in there.