Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[dejavu2]

Told the kids last night with H. Probably did it all wrong. I did end up telling them that dad sees a divorce as his solution and I don't want it. H is furious that I "threw him under the bus". Son is heartbroken that dad wants to move so far away next month. H has no plans of how he is going to see the children once he leaves. H saying it is my fault that I won't follow him - he doesn't see it as a choice he is making (but can't win an argument with a MLC).
I feel guilty for pushing to tell the children when he hasn't really made specific plans. However delaying is one of his well-rehearsed places of comfort. Left to him he would tell them and then go the next day.
I have been waiting for him to emotionally come back to the family since 2012. I have been neither married nor divorced. I am tired of this limbo-land which he has found comfort in.