Life after D - 01 - going from dark to light

[gogofo]

Had an off day a little bit today. Last night I had a dream about laying down boundaries to my XW. Must have been because I was thinking about and wrote a post about my M in the wayward wife thread.

I was brilliant in my dream. I was emotional detached, laid out boundaries about what it would take to come back, and told her things are not as simple as they were before. I guess some of these DB principles are sinking in if I am using them in my dreams.

After the dream I just felt off and a little sensitive all day. Not really thinking about my situation all day but certain things were setting me off. I would get a wave of emotion hitting me.

Tonight the boys and I watched an episode of Dr. Who and it was an emotionally heavy one. The episode ended with him leaving a woman he loved, erasing the great memories he had with another girl and leaving alone standing in the rain. He left without a companion, sad but knowing he would go on and be okay.

This was quite a metaphor for my current situation. Leaving a woman I love, remembering our great times even though she doesn't, and having to move on; even though I am sad about it, I know I will be okay. I was crying because of the tv show and my situation. The melodrama was working the way it was designed to work, I definitely was empathic with the Doctor.

So just an emotional day for me, but not sad or depressing, just emotional. I find strength and comfort in the fact that even in my dream last night I was not jumping back into a R with the XW.