Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

Well, I should've added that I don't think he is doing it "for me" as much as I think he's trying to keep the peace (for lack of a better term). I'm stuck on this why question today: "why does he think this is ok?" Does he really think what he is doing is good for anybody? For him I guess...he gets to have the comforts of his home and family and whatever it is he thinks he's getting from her. I would like to be able to move forward with my life too (I want him in it as my H, but want to move on one way or another).

He was outside (sitting) with D13 (cleaning up the boat) and went out to see if she had homework to do, he didn't hear me walk out there and was on his phone texting when I walked up next to him. Later I went out and was sitting out by the pool and he came out to grab a beer and just looked at me didn't say anything. D16 came out a little later and assumed something was the matter so he probably did too...not like I was out there crying or anything, just chillin'!

Anyway, wasn't in a great mood, spent the afternoon with D13 at the orthopedic clinic just to say "it's likely this is the problem but she needs an MRI." Then to the dentist with both girls to learn D16 needs some serious dental work. Then stuck in traffic on the way home because there was an accident in a construction zone! The worst part of all of that was I got home too late to go for my Thursday run! I could have really used that today.

I'm kind of at a new stage here so I think I need figure out what my actions/interactions should be like. Today I think he might think I was mad or upset and that is NOT my goal. So, just have to find my way and continue to be patient. Even though I think he is one of the ones that is not going to change his mind, I have to look at some of the other examples here (25, labug, starsky) and understand how much time it really can take.